Family Management and Parenting

MOVIE REVIEW ON “EVERY CHILD IS SPECIAL”

NAME: RAUDHAH RAZAK

MATRIC NO: 

INSTRUCTOR: DR. OUAHIBA SAOUDI

SECTION: 37

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim....

From the movie that I have watched, that is “Every Child is Special”, I found that this movie is very interesting and everyone should watch it. This is because; in this movie it addresses the real life problem that one family may face in their life. The lessons from this movie are applicable to all families especially for parents. This movie also just not told us that every child is special; it also leads us to think the pressure building upon young generation by their so called parents, friends, and teachers.

This movie is a story about a young boy named Ishaan who suffers from dyslexia. This disease is a slight disorder of the brain that causes difficulty in reading, spelling, writing and understanding letters, words and sentences. As a dyslexia child, this boy suffers all of these difficulties. He also was simply getting in trouble at school for being so misbehaving and out of focus from his instructional classes. Too often, he may be caught by his teacher daydreaming and getting low grades. Because of the following, his father sent him to boarding school, all alone and homesick with the hope of disciplining him. But the academic status of Ishaan managed still not improves. Alternatively, he became withdrawn and lonely, far from the Ishaan who was active and fun-loving. All his hopes, passion and imagination also died. When everything is down, then came an alternative art teacher who changed the best way of Ishaan would act towards his school’s life and figure out on how to appreciate himself, even more.

So, based on my understanding of this movie, I will relate it with family management and parenting for this report. Hopefully throughout this report it will help me and others people much better to perform a better life than before.

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The first point I can say here is about the rights and responsibilities in family. In this movie it is clearly shows the roles as a father, mother and sons. As a leader of family, his father works so hard to support his family and trying to provide well life of living to his family member by giving them education, and fulfil their desire. Then, the mother plays her role as best as she can to manage the family. She is cooking, tidy up their house, and educating their children. The sons, they just have to concentrate on their study. This is what Ishaan’s parent wants. They want their children success in study. Actually, the parents should know that, being a topper and doing extremely well in academics is not everything in life.

Besides that, what I can learn from this movie is about resolution of conflicts. The conflict of this movie happened when Ishaan’s parent got to know that Ishaan was fighting with his friends and skipped from class. His father can’t stand anymore, and then decided to send Ishaan to boarding school. Actually, this is not the best way to solve the problem. But, as a parent they should not simply punished their child without considerate his problems first. The most important is the parents must believe their children. It is really important that they know their children and they need to consider what their child feel and what they want in life. Understanding their needs, patience and caring is very important to the children not only for special children but to all. If one can understand their children better, and give them the life they deserve in itself, I’m sure that the family will live in this life with harmony and peacefully.

For me this movie is totally awesome and very inspiring movie. This is because; in this movie it promotes the idea that every child should be treated with love and respect despite of their faults. Plus, this movie helps to promote the thought that being different, in whatever way is not exactly abnormal wrong. In order to be good and great parent, they must not lose hope on the child and especially on Allah, because every child has their own talents.

As we all know, Allah swt created every individual either normal or not with such wonderful talents, skills and ability. In this movie, we can see that even Ishaan is slows in his study and always making trouble, but he is very good in art and painting. It is cannot be denied that, his imagination about something was great. Everyone is made to be precious that is why instead of hurting or maltreating people like Ishaan they must then be loved, cared and simply appreciate the beauty beyond their being special. As a parent, they must know that care is another way of showing love.

            Parents play the important part in the grown up children. It means that, they must have well understanding of child development. This is because; being a child they need the guidance from the parent itself. Parent must give them the opportunities to learn, trying something new in life and giving them their importance which is their rights as child. It does not mean that the parent should allow the child to play all the times, but at the same time they must take that opportunity to teach, educate their child. Family support, patience and love are very important in the process to develop the child development and thus it also can be the way to maintain healthy family lifestyle.

            As a conclusion, the parent must show their affection and love to the child. Hugging, and kissing from the parent to the child is important because it can bring something meaningful in child’s life. When the parents spend their time together with the children and sharing their problems and opinions about something, it is actually can lead to happiness in one’s family. Parent’s concern is very important in children life because whatever they do they will refer to their parents first. In one word it says that the parent’s action will reflect their children characters. Lastly, in one of the hadith of our Prophet it mentioned that “the best people among you are who the best to his family and kinship is”.

                                                                                               Alhamdulillah, finished... J

REPORT ON EARLY MARRIAGE

Everyone has their own opinions about early marriage. Same goes to me. For me, early marriage is something that very interesting. It is good to marry early, especially for teenagers nowadays. This is because for me, early marriage will bring more good than harm. In Islam also, the institution of marriage has been given tremendous importance. Prophet SAW said in one of his hadith  “ three things that do not be delay, which was in prayer when the time, the body once it has been completed (managing a bath and shroud) and the girl who having found (spouse) suitable for herself.” (H.R. Tirmidhi). So, from this hadith it is clearly to say that early marriage is very encouraged in Islam. Allah SWT will not do something without a reason. Every single thing that He created and every single word that He said is meaningful. Same here with was our Prophet SAW said. I’m sure that, there will have many benefits (hikmah) upon the early marriage.

Early marriage does benefit teenagers and young adults in many ways. The first benefit of early marriage is it provides emotional support for the couples. As we know, sometimes teenagers are too emotional and sensitive. So, when they have got married they can share and express their problems and happiness with their spouses in permitted way. Yes, it is true that we can just share it with the family, but there is still a difference. Some parents maybe there were too busy with the other child or maybe they were too busy with their work until neglected their child. But, through early marriage, there will be the one who will always concern and take care of us. We can freely share and express everything in our life with the spouses. Plus, teenagers who were got married earlier will not burden again their parent and can learn to be independent. They prefer to venture on their own, set up families and manage their own affairs. Here, they can learn something news and got many experiences in their life from the beginning that will bring them benefits to apply for their future life.

Besides that, like I said before it is good for teenagers nowadays got married at an early age. This is because as we can see today there is many reports and news about social ills problem among teenagers. The cases of baby dumping, adultery, rape and others is actually comes from the desire. So, by married at an early age it can protect oneself from Shaitaan by satisfying one’s desire. According to the hadith of the Prophet pbuh "Whoever has the ability should marry for it is better in lowering the 
gaze and guarding one's chastity. Whoever is not able let him fast 
for it is for him a restraint." (Al-Bukhari).See, how beautiful Islam is! Subhanaallah.. The most important is marriage actually can fulfil of the natural urge. The practice of marriage is the way to remove evil and protect again shameful failure. Plus, early marriage also can provide healthy lifestyle to the society. This is because by adding responsibilities upon the individual, marriage enhances one status in society and gives us an opportunity for training in bearing and hardships of life. For example, teenagers who got married at an early age can learn to shoulder responsibilities towards their families. Thus, at that time it also can build good society and environment. Being a parent, husband, and wife has their own responsibilities. As a father, he needs to provide basic need to his family. Prophet said that, a man will be rewarded for what he spends for the family even for putting a morsel of food in his wife’s mouth. So, from that hadith Allah SWT actually gives us an opportunity to collect the reward as many as we can.

Marriage is a religious duty and the Prophet also has said that “the best people of my ummah are those who get married and have chosen their wives and the worst people ot mu ummah are those who have kept away from marriage and are passing their lives as bachelors”. Marriage also can safeguard one’s faith. This can be proved in one of the hadith which is “whoever marries, protects half of his religion, then for the remaining only fear God”. Then the most interesting thing of getting married at an early age is obtaining children. The children are the precious gift given Allah SWT. This is because in the hereafter, righteous children can benefit their parents as the Prophet said “whenever the son of Adam dies his action stop except three which is knowledge that benefits people, a recurring charity and a righteous child that supplicates for his parent”

So, as the conclusion I totally agreed that young marriage can be beneficial. It is true that there is will be disadvantages of an early marriage which is they may not be all that mature to cope up with responsibilities, but together as a couple they can resolve all the sort of their problems in life. Every person has the right to choose what is best in their life. Whether to marry at an early age or not it is just depend on that people itself. If that person loves challenges in their life they can go on to have marriage at an early age. Allah has mentioned that He will not burden someone except with the capability of His man to cope with it. So, it is clear to say that marriage can be as a test of faith from Allah to His mankind. If we succeed in this test we will be given reward by Allah in the Hereafter. Insyaallah!

Patutkah Saya Berkahwin Awal? [copied]

Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda: Tiga perkara yang jangan dilambat-lambatkan, iaitu solat apabila telah masuk waktunya, jenazah apabila telah siap (urusan mandi dan kafan) dan anak gadis setelah ditemui (pasangan) yang sesuai untuknya. (H.R. Tirmidzi)

Kahwin awal bukan satu masalah. Mari lihat persoalan-persoalan yang selalu menerjah di kepala anak-anak muda yang fitrahnya terhalang atas sebab-sebab tertentu.

1. Kahwin waktu masih belajar, adakah tidak mengganggu pelajaran?

Siapa cakap kahwin waktu sedang belajar mengganggu? Salah tanggapan tu. Sepatutnya, kahwin awal lebih memberi kita semangat yang membara. Yelah, sudah ada pasangan yang halal dan akan sentiasa menyokong kita, mesti la lagi bersemangat mau belajar kan? Lagi satu, orang yang sudah kahwin ni akan berasa lebih bertanggungjawab dari sebelum kahwin. Sebab mereka tahu bahawa mereka punya pasangan untuk dijaga, jadi mereka pun akan berusaha untuk buat yang terbaik bagi pasangan mereka. Apa-apa pun, tengok ibu bapa kita saja sebagai contoh. Sudah kahwin, tapi adakah mengganggu kerja mereka? Tidak kan?

2. Saya masih belajar, macam mana mahu bagi nafkah pada isteri kalau belum ada kerja?

Saya tahu ramai antara kita yang masih belajar, dan ramai yang meminjam dapat elaun biasiswa. Saya beranggapan pasangan yang ingin dikahwini jugak masih study Jadi ia bermakna dua-dua masih dapat hidup dengan wang yang asas tu. Jadi, sementara masih belum ada kerja, suami berilah nafkah yang termampu kepada isteri. Mungkin $25 atau $50 sebulan? Bergantung kepada berapa banyak isteri gunakan untuk makan. Lagipun, isteri jugak ada wang, jadi tak perlu rasa ada masalah di situ. Yang penting dua-dua masih dapat hidup. Lain la kalau isteri demand kereta, rumah, rantai emas, baju berlambak-lambak, dan macam-macam lagi. Jadi, sepatutnya tiada masalah dalam bab nafkah. Cuba kita tengok orang Arab zaman Nabi dulu. Adakah kebanyakan daripada mereka orang berharta? Tidak. Mereka cuma mampu memberi isteri makan makanan setakat yang mereka mampu beri. Itu pun sudah mencukupi untuk dijadikan nafkah. Nabi tak larang pun orang miskin berkahwin. Jangan jadikan kekurangan wang sebagai penghalang perkahwinan. Itu namanya menyalahkan takdir Allah. Berdosa.

Firman Allah: Dan kahwinkanlah orang-orang bujang (lelaki dan perempuan) dari kalangan kamu, dan orang-orang yang soleh dari hamba-hamba kamu, lelaki dan perempuan. Jika mereka miskin, Allah akan memberikan kekayaan kepada mereka dari limpah kurniaNya kerana Allah Maha Luas (rahmatNya dan limpah kurniaNya), lagi Maha Mengetahui. (An-Nur:32)

3. Macam mana mahu cari modal untuk majlis perkahwinan?

Apa perkara asas dalam kahwin? Ya, akad nikah dan walimatul urus. Merisik dan bertunang tu bukan wajib pun. Jadi, potong kos seperti bagi hantaran waktu merisik dan bertunang, sudah jimat wang. Waktu akad nikah pun, jemputlah keluarga terdekat dengan kawan-kawan saja yang dapat datang. Berdosa bila tidak menghadiri jemputan walimatul urus. Jadi, jimat sikit kos kenduri. Buang wang saja sewa pelamin, sewa baju pengantin, sewa jurukamera dengan mak andam semua tu kerana ia termasuk dalam hal-hal yang sia-sia. Mas kahwin pun tidak perlu tinggi-tinggi kerana sebaik-baik magar adalah yang paling rendah. Mudah saja majlis perkahwinan dalam agama Islam. Tidak sampai puluh ribu pun.

Sabda Rasulullah s.a.w: Tiga golongan yang akan selalu diberi pertolongan oleh Allah ialah seorang mujahid yang selalu memperjuangkan agama Allah s.w.t, seorang penulis yang selalu memberi penawar dan seorang yang menikah demi menjaga kehormatan dirinya. (H.R. Thabrani)

4. Tidak terlalu awalkah untuk saya berkahwin?

Kalau rasa dengan kahwin boleh buat semangat untuk belajar semakin meningkat, kahwin la. Kalau rasa kahwin boleh buat diri semakin bersemangat dalam agama, kahwin la. Kalau rasa kahwin boleh elak daripada fitnah dan maksiat, kahwin la. Itu maksudnya, kahwin memang perlu di usia muda. Benda yang baik, jangan dilambatkan. Takut kelak bertukar menjadi benda yang tidak baik. Cuba bayangkan anda ada pasangan yang disukai. Kan bagus kita cepatkan benda yang baik dengan berkahwin terus. Tapi kalau kita melambatkan perkahwinan yang bagus itu, mungkin kita akan terjerumus ke lembaah maksiat. Kenapa kita boleh beralasan untuk melakukan perkara yang halal, tetapi tidak langsung mengemukakan alasan untuk melakukan perkara yang haram? Tanya diri, jagalah iman.

Sabda Rasulullah s.a.w: Apabila datang kepadamu seorang laki-laki untuk meminang, yang engkau redha terhadap agama dan akhlaknya, maka nikahkanlah dia. Bila tidak engkau lakukan maka akan terjadi fitnah di muka bumi dan akan timbul kerosakan yang merata di muka bumi. (H.R. Tirmidzi dan Ahmad)

5. Bersediakah saya untuk kahwin awal?

Ini soalan paling bagus ditanya kepada diri sendiri. Tanya dulu soalan asas ni. Sudahkah saya solat penuh 5 kali sehari semalam? Bertanggungjawab sudahkah saya? Adakah saya panas baran atau penyabar? Adakah saya seorang yang bercakap menggunakan akal atau bertindak menggunakan akal di lutut? Pendek kata, ada banyak soalan spesifik yang boleh ditanya kepada diri sendiri. Walau apa pun jawapan dia, ini nasihat saya. Sentiasalah perbaiki diri dan mantapkan diri. Orang yang sudah berkahwin dan sedang belajar solat lebih baik berbanding orang yang sudah kahwin dan pandai solat tapi tidak amalkannya lepas kahwin. Orang yang bersedia mengubah dirinya adalah yang paling bersedia sebenarnya.

6. Macam mana dengan restu ibu bapa?

Ya, ini la benda paling susah bila mahu kahwin awal. Faktor penghalang paling utama. Kalau kita dapat menjelaskan dengan baik kepada ibu bapa dan mereka faham, insyaAllah tiada masalah untuk berkahwin awal. Tapi kalau ibu bapa kita susah mahu terima sebab fikiran mereka masih terikat dengan fikiran tipikal masyarakat Melayu sekarang ni yang lebih terpengaruh kepada adat dan cerekarama di tv semata-mata, serta pemikiran risau akan tak cukup wang nak sara anak dara orang, sudah tentu mereka tidak akan terima setiap hujah yang diberikan seperti di atas. Apa-apa pun, saya doakan yang terbaik untuk mereka yang mahu kahwin awal supaya cepat bertemu jodoh. Ingat, bila seseorang itu berkahwin kerana ingin mengikut sunnah Rasulullah, maka terbukalah segala pintu rezeki untuknya. Lihat, betapa banyaknya kelebihan kahwin awal. Fikiran kita yang sempit saja membuatkan kahwin ni nampak terlalu susah sangat.

Umar bin al-Khattab r.a telah berkata: Kahwinlah anak-anak kamu apabila sampai baligh, janganlah kamu menanggung dosa-dosa mereka. (Disebut oleh Ibnu Jauzi dalam Ahkam An-Nisa)

Nasihat saya untuk golongan-golongan yang sedang hangat bercinta tu, sebaiknya kahwinlah awal. Lebih banyak kelebihan kahwin awal berbanding kahwin lambat. Tapi semua itu pilihan masing-masing juga. Mudah-mudahan setiap pilihan yang kita buat adalah yang terbaik dan dirahmati Allah. InsyaAllah.

Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda: Siapa yang benci dengan cara hidup (sunnah) ku maka dia tidak termasuk golonganku. (H.R. Bukhari dan Muslim)